Thursday, May 4, 2017

The pets we leave behind

I see that two recent posts are about pets. Well, one pet. Unless you count the ticks. Regardless, who am I to fight the trend?

Pet week it is! Here is an overview of the dependents I will be aching for while overseas:

Borf

Figure 1: Borf Wellington, First of his Name

The sweetest, friendliest bunny you'll ever meet. He enjoys his kibble more than anything in the world, but is also fond of apple slices and dried mango. An expert loafer (Figures 1, 2). An expert beggar (Figure 3). Not that bright (Video 1).

Figure 2: The mighty hunter stalks his photosynthetic prey

Figure 3: A master of nonverbal communication

Video 1: He got into this mess himself. Just because I decided to take a video of it for a few seconds doesn't make me a terrible person. Right? RIGHT? PLEASE DON'T TAKE HIM AWAY

Gandalf

Figure 4: Gandalf. Not a wizard.

Gandalf is a cat with the conflicting qualities of being both terribly shy and needing an unhealthy amount of attention. He is free to roam outdoors, but the neighbors are presumably unaware of his existence. Squeaks when needy. Normal looking when upright (Figure 4), obese when horizontal (Figure 5).
Figure 5: I'm pretty sure he's not as fat as he looks

Spock

Figure 6: Spock. Prefers to sit on as much logic as possible.

Spock has the opposite qualities of Gandalf. He does not require much attention, but will happily approach any axe murderer in the neighborhood. Tends to bully Gandalf despite being half his size. Known for his loud, persistent, annoying meow. Enjoys sitting on the most important paperwork that happens to be in the room (Figures 6, 7) and performing the "walk on your side" party trick that wasn't even funny the first time (Figure 8).

Figure 7: Head butts signal that Spock is STILL SITTING ON THE PAPERS I NEED TO GRADE

Figure 8: Masterfully hunting any mice that happen to be laying on their side


Maybe I'll adopt something in Israel. Anyone know of any pets with a life expectancy of under 2 months? Like...a bee?

-Steve

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